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You Could Do It Tonight

by Couch Slut

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    A-side/B-Side 3-color merge on Black / Red / Gray vinyl. Includes a 12-page lyric + art booklet.

    Includes unlimited streaming of You Could Do It Tonight via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 250  9 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      $28 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Environmentally friendly, eco-mix vinyl includes a 12-page lyric + art booklet.

    Note: Eco-wax is recycled vinyl without sacrificing any quality. This is a method where the plant uses left-over pellets from other jobs and mixes them all together. It creates unique colors and means every single record will be one of a kind. Most importantly, it reduces waste and our carbon footprint at the same time.

    EU/UK customers can save on shipping and order via the Brutal Panda x Deathwish store here: deathwishinc.eu/collections/brutal-panda

    Includes unlimited streaming of You Could Do It Tonight via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 400 
    Purchasable with gift card

      $25 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Housed in a jewel case with alternate cover art + 12-page lyric + art booklet.

    EU/UK customers can save on shipping and order via the Brutal Panda x Deathwish store here: deathwishinc.eu/collections/brutal-panda

    Includes unlimited streaming of You Could Do It Tonight via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 300 
    Purchasable with gift card

      $12 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Limited tape on your choice of color with alternate album art.

    50 - Black
    50 - Green

    EU/UK customers can save on shipping and order via the Brutal Panda x Deathwish store here: deathwishinc.eu/collections/brutal-panda

    Includes unlimited streaming of You Could Do It Tonight via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 100  15 remaining
    Purchasable with gift card

      $11 USD or more 

     

  • T-Shirt/Shirt

    You Could Do It Tonight album art t-shirts available on your choice of color (black & pink). Please specify shirt size in comments (S-XXXL men + women's sizes available).
    ships out within 3 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $26 USD or more 

     

  • T-Shirt/Shirt

    You Could Do It Tonight 4-sided long sleeve shirt featuring alternate artwork.
    ships out within 3 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $35 USD or more 

     

  • Sweater/Hoodie

    You Could Do It Tonight 4-sided pullover hoodie featuring alternate artwork.
    ships out within 3 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $50 USD or more 

     

  • Hat

    Embroidered logo + album title on custom fit canvas dad (or mom) hat.
    ships out within 3 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $30 USD or more 

     

  • Limited Edition Test Press w/ Custom Handmade Cover
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Test press with custom handmade, alternate cover art featuring silver chrome detailing by Ampsock. Limited to 20 copies with only 10 available for sale.

    Includes unlimited streaming of You Could Do It Tonight via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

  • Limited Edition Deluxe 12" Vinyl - Severed Arm
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Severed Arm [3 color-in-color] deluxe vinyl - Bone / Blood / Putrid Skin mix. Vinyl includes a 12-page lyric + art booklet.

    Deluxe version includes a special set of six postcards inspired by the song "Wilkinson's Sword" and featuring the shocking art of Joseph Bone.

    Includes unlimited streaming of You Could Do It Tonight via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
I was new to the road, played my pretty guitar For anyone who would listen A girl on her back looks to be asleep Her clothes were torn, gashes up her legs and thighs Deep I helped her off the couch Asked her her name If she’s OK “Do you know them? Do you?” She said “Some guy raped me in my dumb car last week Who cares who they are? I was raped last week in my car Who gives a fuck who they are?” I took my guitar And got the shit out of there I think about her still The blood down her legs and tears in her eyes I’m coming home, Mom But I’m sad for her still She’s stuck in there still The spit and handprints all down her neck She looked up at me And god was she pissed
2.
Ode To Jimbo 03:11
I’m messy Just have a few I’m so drunk They said “Fuck you” I stay too late ‘Cuz I’m a freak Down in the shower They said “I love you” You always know when it’s time to leave I know all the best places to heave Buried Buried Good night Spilled my beer in the backseat of the car I’m dropped off now But I’ll barely make it inside
3.
Curse that needle Safety pin Mutilated Hideous skin Now it’s burning More than my mind A violated Frankenstein Now I wanna see inside and be adored By Wilkinson’s Sword I’m at the doctor, I’m 16 years old I don’t know what came over me I’m rooting through all of the supply cabinets The label read “Disposable Scalpels” Like I had found a rare kind of gemstone Or when I first started cutting myself at church A secret thing I had all to myself I loved those dumb miniature scalpels And took them in my handbag and took ‘em everywhere I gone Is it so wrong To want a little warmth from your own wet red blanket?
4.
The Donkey 05:16
Here’s what happened when my friends and I got fired from the haunted waterpark Joe and Lindsey dressed up like zombies “Get the fuck out” That’s what he sounded like back in those days Cuz he did drugs The owner is chasing us now Cuz we stole things We get out of there by running fast Back at their place we took drugs and decided to make a stop-motion animation film It was about this doll And she’s having sex with this other doll But it starts to not go so well So she’s cutting herself with razor blades And we’re like “We need blood for this” So we’re pricking ourselves with needles Getting only little droplets But it’s not nearly enough Joe gets up and disappears into the corner of the basement Lindsey and I are quietly working on our shots The man comes back to the center of the room and he says “I’ve got the blood” Lindsey runs upstairs immediately now Screaming, crying The man has sawed his arm to the bone And he is bleeding all over the place So the next day I’m going to see my friend Greg in Williamsport, who killed himself shortly after this, and I go out to my car and I notice my trunk has a dent in it. And I’m like “Hm, that’s weird. That wasn’t here yesterday.” Like, broken into. So I open my trunk and the bloody dolls are in the trunk of the car because I guess Joe had walked over there in the night with his fucked up arm and bled all over these dolls and broke into my car and left the dolls in the trunk. So I’m driving up to Williamsport and this man calls me on the phone and he’s like “So Lindsey and I broke up” and I’m like “Uhh obviously” which was also weird because they were both crazy and they were together for I don’t know, 12 years, like since they were kids. And he’s like “And I told her that I’m in love with you” and I’m like “Joe, I’m not doing this right now” and he’s like “So I got kicked out of the house” and I’m like “OK, well I’m driving somewhere and I can’t be on the phone” and he’s like “Well, I decided that I would invite you to live in my grandfather’s shed in Nazareth” and I’m like “Joe, are you out of your fucking mind? I’m not gonna live in a shed in your grandfather’s yard in Nazareth” and then he’s like “Well if you don’t wanna do that, we can live under this bridge in Newport.”
5.
I’d like to welcome you To the B side Of Couch Slut’s fourth album And to advise you To crank it Crank it up! You know, I wasn’t always President Of The B-side I used to be a set of words Sitting in a dusty desk Waiting One day To be rescued And sung By a professional I have failed
6.
Is it a silver taste? No, it’s copper There’s thick hairs inside my legs They do not belong to me There, two sisters And three more, or maybe five, young men They each taste like silver A crushed cock in a tiny wire cage Falling deep for Lucifer Go, follow the empty head There, two sisters And three more, or maybe five, young men They each taste like silver And cheap metal from a can I told her yes in the parking lot I told her yes once inside Have you ever seen a cock stuffed inside a tiny wire cage? It’s a taste of some cheap metal And shit pulled out from a can
7.
Dorothy’s reprieve Into that stinking bed she ran Slither out from dress Sweet for what’s inside the bride I can’t sleep at night Or sleep in daylight My walls build moisture Enough to drown I watch the water where he went down My leg’s infected From all these scratches
8.
I was preparing for what already happened and when it happened I was well rehearsed They had my key My key to my house Quiet as a mouse Lips over teeth Fingers over mouths Marching us down the stairs I remember the eyes All tied up like Christmas gifts Bad dawn Too upsetting to see I scared myself when I caught myself laughing No sleep feeling, like when the Australian demanded to be hospitalized All in all, I ran from something else, but something else went there instead In the uncanny repetitions we’ll be headed that way once again
9.
The Weaversville Home For Boys was a juvenile detention facility Down a dark, winding road Red brick house Tall barbed wire fence Amidst cornfields and forests The building’s still there Lurking Abandoned Now these were the worst boys you have ever seen Boys who killed their parents Boys who raped their siblings The kind of boys who under no circumstances are to be let out Back in school a man came to speak to us about the Weaversville Home For Boys And he told us what happened one night When three boys got out They attacked a guard And took his gun And they went around the place Killing everyone They rode off into the night And they were never found The Home was shut down after and the airport bought out all the land Long after that fateful night My girlfriends and I were getting high In an abandoned house Nearby We heard a noise And when we went to go check out what it was We heard the most horrible screaming And we ran the fuck back to my friend’s car And peeled away Heading toward the S-curves of pitch black Weaversville Road We smoked a blunt And blasted college radio And thought about how best to spend our evening But after the last of the sharp turns We saw the dim glow of taillights A disabled sedan was pulled over And we saw three men standing there Yo Ben, should we see if they need help or something? As our car pulled up to theirs Each of the three men began laughing Mouths full of perfect white teeth that shined like headlights They tilted their heads back And they howled into the nothingness of the empty sky You wanna hear something really scary? One of them was the guy that came to our school And I don’t think he ever worked for the Allentown State Hospital System

about

NYC's resident misfits Couch Slut have played a veritable strain of drug-fueled, incendiary noise rock since 2013. Led by Megan Osztrosits' infernal roar and subversive, vitriolic lyrics, the quintet returns with their fourth full-length opus You Could Do It Tonight, just in time for America's only holiday that matters...4/20.

Recorded amidst the filth of NYC with Uniform's Ben Greenberg (Drab Majesty, Portrayal of Guilt, Metz), Couch Slut subverts the paradigm and ups the ante in every imaginable way across nine vignettes of perverse, true-to-life storytelling layered over the band's singular, dragged-through-the-mud songcraft. This is a depraved style of noise rock that will scare the living shit out of you. With ten full years of pain and suffering under its proverbial belt, Couch Slut sounds more urgent, threatening, nasty and despondent than ever. The perfect soundtrack for 2024.

credits

released April 19, 2024

2024 Brutal Panda Records
www.brutalpandarecords.com
brutalpandarecords.bandcamp.com

Recorded and mixed by Ben Greenberg, with assistant engineer Garret De Block, at Strange Weather and also Circular Ruin in Brooklyn, NY, March 2023. Mastered and cut by Matt Colton at Metropolis in London, UK, August & September 2023. Art by Leandro De Cotis and Tahir Carl Karmali

Couch Slut is:
Dylan DiLella – guitar
Kevin Hall – bass, shehnai (2), granular synthesizer (5)
Amy Mills – guitar, flute (2), trumpet (5, 9)
Theo Nobel – drums and percussion, synthesizer (6), bells (8)
Megan Osztrosits – vocals

Additional personnel:
Doug Moore – additional vocals (1, 7)
Zachary Ezrin – additional vocals (1, 7)
Joseph Bone – vocals (5)
Steve Blanco – piano (5)
Ben Greenberg – synthesizer (5, 6)
Lyv Giordano – additional vocals (8, 9)

**Includes digital booklet**

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Couch Slut New York, New York

Putrid, drug-fueled gutter rock from the filthy streets of NYC. NSFW.

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